I am terrified to write about this. Because it’s not something most people want to discuss or admit they are familiar with. It’s secretive, dark and often scandalous. And yet it’s extremely commonplace and sought after in our world, calculated at bringing in over 20 billion dollars worldwide. Which is why I don't want to ignore it any longer. 68% of young men and 19% of young women view it online at least once a week. I’m talking about pornography.
With recent stories in the media regarding well known TV personalities like Jared and Joshua, I can’t stop contemplating about the deceptive trap that catches so many. But that’s how satan works- he twists the truth and makes sin appear desirable, enjoyable and even deserving. People rationalize its wrongfulness so much so that they are willing to illogically sacrifice their family, their career and their reputation in order to have it. It doesn’t matter who you are: man, woman, rich or poor, young or old, Christian or non; pronography goes across all demographics. And it leaves people feeling more empty than fulfilled, sending them on an endless chase for satisfaction.
The truth is, pornography is the biggest threat to the family. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports that 56% of divorce cases involve one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites. According to numerous studies, prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:
- a diminished trust between intimate couples
- the belief that promiscuity is the normal
- cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners
- the belief that marriage is sexually confining
- a lack of attraction to family and child-raising
My soul aches for all of those involved in the deluded web of pornography. The millions of people who seek fulfillment, satisfaction, or an escape are deceived because everything about pornography is temporary and false. It’s not real. Only made-up bodies, showing fake desire among phoney relationships. You will never ever find true contentment or intimacy here.
“Dear God, I pray that truth would be revealed and people would see pronography for what it is: sin. And that they would confess it and flee!”
I am burdened for the spouses who have felt betrayed, inadequate and cheated on because their partner indulged in pornography. There’s no such thing as the perfect woman, and the wife who tries to live up to the fantasy her husband was chasing will be left feeling insecure and never good enough.
“Dear God, please help her to feel cherished and able to trust again.”
I mourn for the men and women who have chosen the porn industry as a career, by putting themselves on display in a degrading and self deprivating manner. It may be acting, but the acts they participate in and create can cause real, deep pain to hearts and minds. A former porn-star shared that men and women in pornograpgy do drugs like marijuana, cocaine and ecstasy because, “they can’t deal with the way they’re being treated in the business.”
I wish these people felt beautiful without having to put on a show, a mask or hurt themselves. I pray that they choose to discover their God-given intellect and talents and use these gifts instead. “Dear Lord, please show these men and women that they are made in your image and are worthy of a higher calling.”
Lastly, my heart cries out for the children that have been affected by pornography. Those that have had their innocence stolen and their lives exploited is an atrocity that is incomprehensible. I just don't understand why anyone would harm a child and abuse them in such a way. “Dear Jesus, please rescue the children and give aid to those agencies who are trying to stop this monstrosity from occurring.”
While there are (and should be) consequences to sinful actions, there is hope. God offers forgiveness and restoration for ALL through His Son Jesus Christ. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Accountability is important. Let’s admit our own mistakes to one another and use them as teachable moments. If you’re struggling with pornography, tell someone. Whoever said ignorance is bliss, was a fool. Wives- ask your husbands. Many women don’t want to know if their spouse is viewing pornography. But by NOT asking, you’re allowing a wedge to remain and further drive you apart. Parents, ask your kids. Have discussions with your teens, even if it’s hard or uncomfortable because most likely, they've already been exposed to inappropriate things online. Monitoring and setting parameters on internet usage is key.
God is good and He can resurrect any broken relationship, heal pain and restore your soul. Let Him fill the desires of your heart.
“Thank you Lord that you are the Bread of Life who satisfies our hungering soul. You are bigger than our hurts, addictions and our struggles. Lead us in the way of righteousness.”