Early Summer 2013: Our summer continued on with more testing for Anders, along with the rest of our family. Because Cystic Fibrosis is genetic, it was important to figure out what mutations came from which parent, and also find out if our other children carried the CF genes. More trips to the hospital, more waiting, more dreaded phone calls expected. Because it wasn’t completely confirmed that Anders had CF. Just incredibly likely.
A good distraction for us that summer was Vacation Bible School at our church. I had volunteered to be the Emcee and song leader for about 100 kids. My illness and hospital stay wiped out a lot of my energy but I was determined to follow through with my commitment in spite of those who told me not to. So during the month of June as I was recovering and slowly gaining my strength back, I was memorizing lines, working out logistics for skits and learning songs and dance moves.
Not exactly doctor’s orders. But it was good therapy because I was forced to learn new songs like, “Don’t Worry, Just Pray” and “Stand Strong in the Ups and Downs”. The entire theme for VBS was that we can stand strong when life is hard. My job was to teach the children that when difficult times come, God loves us and is with us; Which was exactly what I needed to hear myself! God knew that. There was one skit where my character was carrying a lot of worries in the form of baggage. I wandered around the sanctuary with my ridiculous load of suitcases, backpacks and heavy boxes, all the while having a conversation with God. “Don’t you want to set down your things?” Isn’t it hard to carry those all by yourself?” God would ask me. “No, it’s okay Lord. I can handle this alone.” I would say as I struggled to hold it all together. My character went back and forth with God for a while and then finally I relented to His goodness and laid down my burdens at his feet. There was plenty of room for them at a special thrown we had arranged on the set.
And in my mind, I quietly envisioned myself laying my son Anders down at the Lord’s feet. Similar to Abraham laying down his precious son Isaac on the alter. Anders was HIS child. God knew best and cared for him even more than I did. That was a pivotal moment for me in my handling of the situation. My son's medical condition was totally out of my hands. I had zero control over the genetic test results I was currently waiting for. “Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7