It’s summer vacation. The weather is spectacular, school is out and family time is plentiful. I have this vision that my three children; ages 14, 12 and 9 will get along and appreciate the extra time spent with one another. I imagine them playing happily in the yard while I keep an eye on them from the kitchen window, making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.
Instead, I hear fighting over pool goggles, whining because someone wouldn’t share their beach towel, arguing because someone got sprayed with the hose, and complaining because I used the wrong kind of jelly for their sandwiches. I feel like a skipping record with my constant speech of: “Kids, treat each other the way you want to be treated- and even better.” I’m not asking that they hold hands and skip through the cul-de-sac singing “We are Family”. (That’s only when company comes.) But some respect, kindness, and less tattle-telling would be fantastic.
Today was supposed to be a relaxing summer morning with no scheduled obligations or planned activities- a rarity. The kids all enjoyed sleeping in. When they rolled out of bed around 9:00 am feeling rested and unrushed, I mentioned that it would be fun to go down to Valley Sweets; our favorite local ice cream and candy shop.
However, I did want to put the house in order and asked the kids to do some simple bedroom organization and kitchen chores after breakfast. This is where the ugly started.
“I didn’t make this mess, why do I have to clean it?” Says the middle child.
“Mom, he’s just sitting there while I do all the work.” Says the oldest.
“Stop singing that song. Taylor Swift is sooo dumb.” (Sibling continues to sing.) “I said STOP!” (More T-Swift, even louder) “Mom! She won’t quit singing!” Says the youngest.
The last straw was when my youngest said, “frickin” to his brother. It was time for serious parental intervention.
“Okay! Enough! I am tired of listening to you speak disrespectfully to one another and to me. None of you are going to Valley Sweets! Now get in the van this instant.”
They were mad but also confused because I said “no ice cream” but also, “get in the van.” I had their attention.
Once in the vehicle, the middle child proceeded to turn on the radio to her preferred station. Arguing began immediately about the song. I took control and turned it to MY preferred station: Classical.
Ever since my kids were babies, I resorted to the classical station when I was near the breaking point. Music with no words helps me calm down and relax. (There is a reason 99.5 Classical MPR is one of my top presets.) My oldest child immediately scoffed and said rudely, “Ugh, what is this crap? Do I have to listen to this?”
I turned up the volume, completely ignoring him much like he ignored me and my pleas to be respectful. “Fine Mom, but can you at least turn the speakers to the front so I don’t have to hear it?” To which I responded by switching the audio all the way to the back where he was sitting, nice and loud just for him. I’ll admit that was incredibly satisfying and I had to stifle a laugh as he sighed his displeasure.
The van ride was quiet after that point and I’m sure they were suspicious as I headed toward the direction of the ice cream shop which was only 2 miles from our house. What they didn’t know is that I was NOT about to let MY experience of Valley Sweets go to waste just because they screwed up. Why should I have to be (further) punished by their terrible behavior and miss out on a scrumptious snack? Back at the house I had decided, somewhere between my son calling names and daughter tattling: Don’t get angry, get ice cream. But not for them- for ME!
Although, I would take the kids with and savor every delicious bite in front of them. Call me cruel, but that’s exactly what I did.
As I parallel parked in front of the adorable white brick building at the end of Main Street, I watched the reaction of my children in the rear view mirror: Delight! “Woo hoo! Mom changed her mind!” Seat belts unbuckled as they got ready to exit the van before I could even shut the ignition off. But wait!
“Keep your seat belts on kids. No Valley Sweets, remember? You’re going to stay right here while I go inside. And if ANYONE touches my classical radio station, you’ll be grounded from ice cream for a year.”
Stunned silence.
And then I confidently walked into the shop and ordered myself an over sized home-made waffle cone to go with my favorite flavor: a bourbon-spiked espresso ice cream swirled with bittersweet chocolate chunks.
The name of the flavor just so happened to be: Exhausted Parent. I highly recommend it.
Parents, my advice for today is: Don't get angry, get ice cream. And most important, do not share it with your kids.
Valley Sweets is located at 133 N. Washington Street, Saint Croix Falls, Wisconsin 54024