When we hear stories of horrible experiences, we might try to imagine ourselves in them and wonder, “Would I be strong enough to handle that?” Having been through a traumatic event recently, I learned that it’s not something you can prepare or plan for. Most of the time, it comes without warning. But one thing you can be sure of: If you ask God, He will give you the strength you need WHEN you need it. Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength- a very present help in times of trouble." That’s where Anders and I drew strength from on August 1, 2014.
We were on our way to visit a nearby cattle ranch, driving along a reclusive Montana gravel road when it happened. Eight of us were in the van. I was looking at pictures on my phone as I sat next to Anders in the very backseat when I felt the van suddenly veer off. We crossed the oncoming lane and then went down. I was aware that we were now rolling over. I wasn't afraid yet. I was actually thinking to myself, “So this is what it feels like to be in a rollover.” I heard people groan and tumble. Dirt, rocks and glass pelted us, and then there was a splash. As soon as the van came to a halt the “Oh-my-God” feeling hit me and I thought of Anders.
The dust settled, and I saw his dirty, bloody face still next to me. He gave a confused cry and I was so relieved! My next thought was, “I need to get my baby out of here.” Luckily, all of the windows were busted and it was easy to climb out with him in my arms. Our van had landed upside down in a creek and as I carried Anders, I was in water. I brought him to a muddy bank and gave him a quick look over. He seemed to be fine so I went back to the overturned van. Anders asked in bewilderment, “Mommy is this really happening?” “Yes baby, it is. So I need you to be the bravest boy ever.” He was. I didn’t think much about just how brave Anders had to be until later.
The things he experienced and witnessed were horrific and traumatizing. His ability to remain calm and obedient allowed me to help others. My attention shifted from Anders to the driver who was visibly in serious trouble. He was still buckled in his seat, upside down and underwater up to his waist. I waded over to him and tried to get the door open but to no avail. So I decided to try from the passenger side instead. I was out of breath as I hurried through the water. This moment may have been the most frightful for me because not everyone was accounted for. I kept saying, “Oh God! Help me!” A floating boot drifted by as I waded through the waste-deep muddy creek. I went to grab it and wondered if there was a person attached. Thankfully, there wasn't.
The other victims were all still inside the van and attempting to right themselves. Two men who were seated near the driver worked to free him. I climbed through the window of the passenger side door and pulled on the driver and his seat belt. I was near panic, realizing that a man underwater needed oxygen! But as I examined him closer, I assessed that he was no longer alive. I voiced this to the two men who were still trying their best to save him. They were quite injured themselves and I could tell their efforts were in vain. But there was no convincing them to stop.
I then shifted my focus to the other victims who were struggling to get out. I helped a woman, who was quite shaken, with injuries on her face and arm. Another woman held her bloody wrist and kept saying, “I’m going to need surgery.” I found a man who was like a pretzel, unable to get out. We worked to maneuver his shoulder and then I would tell him to rest. Then we’d try to get a leg free. I used all of my strength to try and lift him out. He fell back and even laughed at his predicament. He was 86 and yet showing the flexibility of a young gymnast! I was thankful for his demeanor as it gave me some reprieve from fear. I smiled, hugged him and told him to stay put while I went to see about getting some help. I scrambled up the creek bank to the top of the road to see what our surroundings looked like. What I saw was disheartening.
We were completely alone in a wide open plain. My phone was probably at the bottom of the creek somewhere. But it didn't matter- there was no cell coverage anyway. I decided to make use of Anders. If someone were to drive by they would never see us because our van had fallen about 15 feet. So I positioned my boy at the top of the road and told him to stand there and look for a car or truck. If he saw one, he was to wave his arms, jump around and get their attention. He nodded in understanding. A short time later I realized that no one was coming. Passengers were beginning to show signs of shock. Staying and waiting was not an option. I needed to go find someone to help us! It didn't matter that my shoes were missing.
As I scanned the horizon trying to catch my breath I strained to see if there was anything in sight that could offer aid. Not until I made an almost complete circle did I finally spy a house way off in the distance. I yelled back to the group that I was going for help. Anders didn’t like the idea of me leaving. “No Mom, don’t go!” he said. “I have to baby. But I’ll come right back.” And then I left. As I started down the road, I looked back and saw my son standing on the road looking small and alone. I left him in God's hands. And with that faith and trust I was able to leave. Months later, Anders confided, “Mom, when you ran to get help- that’s when I prayed.” He too trusted that God was there.
Deuteronomy 31:6 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”