Through recent experience, I have learned that at some point during puberty, teenagers develop a second set of lenses over their eyeballs which causes them to see their parents through a new and tainted view. Somehow, as my child has developed through the ages of 11-13, I have morphed in his sight. I went from a wise, super hero of a mom who he once idolized, to now a completely annoying, totally clueless person.

There is a lot of exchange and action lately about whose lives matter these days.  Is it black lives, police lives, homosexuals, lions, the unborn?  Locally we have one of the most popular marathons in the Midwest coming up and the group Black Lives Matter plans to disrupt it with a protest by blocking the finish line.  They intend to prevent runners from completing their 26.2 miles of the Twin Cities Marathon at about the 25 mile mark and “become the finish line” blocking the path of participants from the actual end of the race. Today I was pondering what Jesus would do in all of this.  And it may come as a shock to you but honestly I think he would attend the upcoming protest.

I don’t really have a bucket list. But after I delivered two of my own children, I decided that witnessing a birth (of someone else’s child) was something I wanted to experience in my lifetime. I realized what an incredible opportunity it would be to see the first breath of life taken by a human being.  I also wondered if other people longed for an experience like this. So when I became pregnant with my 3rd child, I decided to invite a few special people to be present at the birth.

Isaiah 40:31: But those who hope in the Lord… will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I didn’t feel physically ready to begin a mile run.   I was soaking wet, muddy, bloody and barefoot and my turf was a rocky, gravel road in Western Montana.   I hadn’t even started and I was already gasping for breath.  Some of it was from shock after just being in a serious van wreck.  But some of it was exhaustion from wading through deep water, pulling and helping people to safety.  I shivered in the 90 degree heat.  In normal circumstances, it would have been ridiculous to consider going for a run.  But these were not normal circumstances. 

July 31, 2014: As was routine during our stay at the Pine Butte Guest Ranch, the vacationers (about 25 of us that week) ate our evening meal together in the dining hall.  Afterwards, we listened to announcements about the next day’s activities.  There was to be a morning horseback ride to a lovely breakfast cookout.  And in the afternoon, we were given the option to take a tour of a neighboring cattle ranch.

Fall 2013: We all display our sadness and disappointment differently.  For Nathan, he was able to weep and show sadness at the appropriate times.  It broke my heart to witness him but in some ways, I was jealous because physically I couldn’t cry anymore.  The anti-depressant I was on somehow wouldn’t let me.  I know that the medication was necessary for me to function. I had responsibilities as a mother, wife, employee and I needed to remain strong. But there were days I wished I could just cry it all out! That fall, our family was quickly thrown into a new normal after the diagnosis of both Anders and Carson. 

In August, another positive distraction came to us. We were invited to go on an incredible vacation with our neighbors!  We surprised the kids by telling them it was simply a camping trip in Northern Minnesota.  But what they didn’t know is that it was actually a houseboat trip on one of the state’s best fishing lakes!  It was a dream vacation for our family who loves to fish, and it was a wonderful escape from our current nightmare at home.